An Article for World Suicide Prevention Day 2025.

The Sacred Art of Deep Listening

This September 10th, as we observe World Suicide Prevention Day, we are called to examine not merely what we say about suicide, but how deeply we listen to those who are suffering. The 2025 theme, “Changing the Narrative on Suicide,” invites us to recognise that our words carry the power to either build bridges of understanding or walls of isolation.

As interfaith ministers and pastoral caregivers, we stand in a unique position. In these sacred moments, our response can make the difference between someone feeling utterly alone and feeling genuinely held by community and care. The question is not whether we will encounter someone contemplating suicide, it is whether we will be ready when we do.

Research consistently demonstrates that the language we use around suicide directly impacts whether people feel safe to seek help. When we say someone “committed suicide,” we unconsciously invoke the shadow of criminality and sin. The word “commit” carries criminal overtones that refer to a time when suicide was illegal, creating an invisible barrier between those who are struggling and those who might help them.

Yet this is about more than linguistic sensitivity. It touches the very heart of how we understand human suffering and spiritual crisis.

The Myth of Attention-Seeking

Perhaps no misconception is more dangerous than the belief that those who speak of suicide are “merely seeking attention.” This narrative, whispered in corridors and perpetuated by misunderstanding, closes off the very lifeline that research shows to be most protective: honest conversation.

Studies demonstrate that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, research suggests the opposite: acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation.

When someone shares their darkest thoughts with us, they are not seeking attention, they are seeking life. They are extending a sacred trust, offering us the most vulnerable part of their human experience. To dismiss this as attention-seeking is to miss entirely the profound courage it takes to speak these words aloud.

Consider this: if someone is “seeking attention” by talking about suicide, perhaps the most healing response we can offer is precisely that — our full, compassionate attention. For attention, in its truest form, is simply another word for love.

Words That Wound, Words That Heal

Many mental health advocates use the term “died by suicide” because it removes culpability from the person who has lost their life and gives us an opportunity to have a conversation. This shift in language reflects a deeper theological and spiritual understanding: those who die by suicide are not perpetrators of a crime, but individuals overwhelmed by pain that, in that moment, seemed unbearable.

The evidence is clear that suicide-related stigma is a potential risk factor for suicide and mental health problems. When we use stigmatising language, we participate in creating the very conditions that prevent help-seeking. As people of faith and compassion, we cannot afford such carelessness with our words.

Instead, we might say:

• “Died by suicide” rather than “committed suicide”
• “Experiencing suicidal thoughts” rather than “is suicidal”
• “Survived a suicide attempt” rather than “failed suicide attempt”

These phrases honour the person’s dignity whilst acknowledging their struggle. They create space for conversation rather than closing it down.

The Spiritual Dimension of Listening

Suffering often carries its own wisdom. When someone contemplates ending their life, they are not simply experiencing a mental health crisis, they are grappling with questions of meaning, purpose, and transcendence. They are asking, in the most profound way possible: “Does my life matter? Am I seen? Am I loved?”

Accompanying someone through suicidal crisis requires us to embody the deepest principles of pastoral care. This means being fully present to another’s pain, creating sacred space for authentic expression, and walking alongside them as they navigate their darkest hours.

The mystics and contemplatives have always known that healing begins with deep listening, hearing not just the words, but the soul speaking beneath them. When someone shares their struggle with suicidal thoughts, they are offering us a profound trust. Our role is not to fix or solve, but to witness their experience with compassion and to help them discover their own reasons for continuing.

This sacred accompaniment often involves helping someone create practical plans for their safety, but always in ways that honour their dignity and agency. We become companions on their journey towards hope, offering both spiritual support and connection to professional resources as needed.

Creating Communities of Safety

Personal and community attitudes about suicide affect someone’s openness to seek help and our ability to provide it. This places a responsibility upon us as spiritual leaders to examine not only our own attitudes, but the cultures we create in our communities.

Do we create spaces where someone could safely say, “I’ve been thinking about ending my life”? Do our responses to mental health crises reflect the depth of compassion we claim to embody? Are we signalling, through our language and behaviour, that we are safe people to approach with life’s deepest struggles?

The creation of suicide-safer communities begins with our willingness to talk openly about suicide. Research on National Suicide Prevention Lifeline calls found that individuals were significantly more likely to feel less depressed, less suicidal, less overwhelmed, and more hopeful when counselors used evidence-based listening approaches. The same principles apply in our pastoral relationships.

Supporting the Supporters

As we extend our hands to those in crisis, we must also tend to our own wells of compassion. Suicide prevention includes life promotion and self-care for people thinking about suicide and for caregivers. The work of accompanying people through suicidal crises is sacred, but it is also demanding.

We must build networks of mutual support, ensuring that no minister or pastoral carer stands alone when faced with someone contemplating suicide. This might include:

• Regular supervision or peer consultation groups where we can process difficult encounters
• Clear protocols for when and how to involve professional mental health services
• Training in evidence-based suicide intervention approaches
• Resources for our own self-care and spiritual renewal

The ancient wisdom traditions remind us that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Our capacity to hold space for another’s darkest night depends upon our own spiritual resources being regularly replenished.

The Courage to Ask

Perhaps the most transformative shift we can make is moving from waiting for people to ask for help to creating opportunities for honest conversation. The evidence shows that asking directly about suicide in a non-judgmental way can be life-saving.

Yet many of us hesitate to ask the question: “Are you thinking about suicide?” We worry about saying the wrong thing, about making matters worse, about overstepping our role. But consider this: our hesitation to ask may be precisely what prevents someone from sharing their burden.

The question itself becomes a gift, a signal that we are not afraid of their deepest pain, that we will not turn away, that their life matters enough for us to risk an uncomfortable conversation.

The Ministry of Presence

Sometimes the most profound healing happens not through our words but through our presence. Being there for someone with thoughts of suicide is life-saving. Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting their isolation has shown to be a protective factor against suicide.

This presence is not passive. It requires us to stay with someone in their darkest hour without trying to fix them or rush them towards the light. It asks us to trust that bearing witness to suffering is itself a form of ministry, that our willingness to sit with someone in their pain can become a source of hope.

Changing the Narrative

The narrative we seek to change is not simply one of language, though language matters profoundly. We seek to change the narrative that says suicide is shameful, that mental health struggles are signs of spiritual weakness, that asking for help is a failure of faith.

Instead, we proclaim a narrative of hope: that suffering can be transformed, that healing is possible, that every life has inherent worth and meaning. We offer not platitudes but presence, not quick fixes but accompaniment on the long journey towards healing. Hope is not mere sentiment, it is something we can actively cultivate through our skilled and compassionate response to those who are suffering.

A Call to Sacred Action

As we observe World Suicide Prevention Day, we commit ourselves to:

• Speaking with compassion: Using language that honours the dignity of all who struggle with thoughts of suicide
• Listening with depth: Creating space for the fullness of human experience, including its darkest chapters
• Learning with humility: Seeking training in suicide prevention skills that can save lives
• Building with intention: Creating communities where mental health struggles are met with support rather than stigma
• Caring for ourselves: Maintaining our own spiritual and emotional resources so we can serve others effectively

The narrative we seek to change begins with each of us — it begins when we choose to see those who contemplate suicide not as problems to be solved but as fellow travellers on the human journey, deserving of our deepest compassion and most skilful care.

In this work, we discover that changing the narrative on suicide is not merely about preventing death, it is about affirming life in all its complexity, mystery, and potential for transformation. It is about creating a world where no one suffers alone, where help-seeking is met with compassion, and where hope can be rekindled even in the darkest hour.

May our words be bridges. May our listening be healing. May our presence be hope.

Resources for Support:

• UK: Samaritans — 116 123 (free, 24/7)
• Emergency: 999 or local emergency services
• Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258
• For training: Consider LivingWorks ASIST, Mental Health First Aid or similar evidence-based suicide intervention training
• For organisations: Develop clear protocols for responding to suicidal crises and ensure staff receive appropriate training and support

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help immediately. Your life has meaning and value, and support is available.

Written by Alan, OneSpirit Interfaith Foundation’s Executive Director.

Alan was once a builder, tree-feller, furniture maker, and woodturner before stepping into the charity sector to support some of the most vulnerable people in society.

With over 17 years of experience in mental health, youth justice, and drug and alcohol services, his work is shaped by a passion for innovation and finding creative solutions. He led a national programme to roll out gatekeeper training in Wales, equipping frontline workers and community members with the skills to prevent suicide, and advised the Welsh Government on a national suicide and self-harm prevention strategy.

Outside of work, Alan has five grown-up children, three grandchildren, and a love for building sheds (you can never have too many). He enjoys long walks with his dogs, reading, painting, and meditation.